First Color TV

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're
not doing anything very innovative."

-- Woody Allen



Did you know...

... that today is the birthday of the first Color TV
Broadcast? On June 25, 1951, CBS broadcast the first color TV
program, a one-hour special broadcast to four cities. Few
consumers, however, had color TVs to watch it on yet, but it
was fun anyway. ;-)

Wives & Husbands :)

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven. God comes and says

"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.

God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Killing English!

Killing English ……

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls
hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

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Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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once hindi teacher said.... "i'm going out of the world to america.."

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

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dont laugh at the back benches....otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried
to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving a round "

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My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor

and erased the board

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"wil! l u hang that calender or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLD , "IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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Chemistry HOD once said

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father!

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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

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Seing the principal passing by, the teacher ! told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Now you know everything, well almost

********************************* ******************************************** The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma. ********************************* ****************************************** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait... **************************************************************************** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass ) ************************************************************************ You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ************************************************************************** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. **************************************************************************** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. ************************************************************************* The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE *************************************************************************** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. ************************************************************************** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you ?) (That women are going the 'right' direction...?) ********************************************************************* Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning . ************************************ *********************************** Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN ! ************************************************************************ **** The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. *************************************************************************** Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! ************************************************************************** PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR ! ********************************************************************* The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. ********************************************************************** It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs. ************************************************************************ A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ************************************************************************ Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !) *************************************************** And the best for last.... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU ?) So....................... Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on...and go move your toothbrush !!!

Scary signs

Scary Signs

They walk among us!

'Millionaire' Contestant...

Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever!

NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family

when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance

on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question

and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use

of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host

Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.

The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut

B) An Elephant

C) The Moon

D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not

readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,

as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.

'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,

but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.

Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was

bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly

easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.

'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'

Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend

Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,

wasting the first seven seconds of her call.

'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?

B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.

Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's

advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.

So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of

answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,

Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the

too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with

your gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -

and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

Caution...they walk among us!

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This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!)

They Walk Among Us!

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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a

sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.

So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!

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*One day I was walking down the beach with

some friends when someone shouted....

'Look at that dead bird!'

Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the

estate agent which direction was north because

he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east

and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,

'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'

They Walk Among Us!

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,

when we overheard an admin girl talking about the

sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said

she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned

because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car

which is designed to cut through a seat belt

if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot.

They Walk Among Us!

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman

with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.

My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip

out every time she turns her head!"

I had to explain that a person's nose and ear

remain the same distance apart no

matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us !

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.

went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry

because she was a trained professional and

said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,

'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!

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While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man

ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and

the cook asked him if he would like it cut

into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time

then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry

enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!

In memoriam- 63 years

If it reaches the screen of just one person that doesn't know what the Holocaust was, then it has been worth the effort.





In MEMORIAM - 63 YEARS LATER

Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful. Then read the comments at the end.
I'm doing my small part by forwarding this message. I hope you'll consider doing the same.
In Memoriam




It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russian Peoples looking the other way!

Now, more than ever, with Iraq, Iran, and others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it's imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.

This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide!

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